Too Big to Fail: Fat People and the Financial Crisis of 2008

America has a huge problem. A problem so big it cannot be contained. Not the rust belt, the belt buckle. Pursuant to this, the articles of our country prevent and dissuade foreign entanglement. What of internal tanglement? What about a sort of lady and the tramp style disaster where
two enormous love birds, out on a date, attempt to eat the same piece of spaghetti only to go at each other’s throats fighting over the last starchy morsel?

In the United Kingdom, for instance, the healthcare system works like this: if an 80 year old billionaire and a 8 year old urchin both require an expensive
procedure to survive, the 8 year old gets top priority because said youngster can become a productive paying contributor to social security for a majority ofsocializedhealthcare_011 working years, while the 80 year old draws a pension. This simply points to the inherent economic factors in single payer healthcare that transcend the touchy feely emotional nature of single payer communist healthcare.

But enough about that, on to fat people: single-payer gives the individual no reason to watch out for their own health. After all, with everyone making equal contribution, there is no danger to becoming drastically out of shape. After all, if your health goes completely belly up, the national single payer health service will bail you out.

michael-moore-pizzaThus so with TARP. Major American banks made stupid positions with absurd risk values, and when they failed in those gambles, they simply went to the Federal Government, complained they were too big to be allowed to die, and got bailed out. They must have planned this out before the crisis happened, no company with that many MBA’s involved would get that deep underwater without an exit strategy.. Why on earth would you make a stupidly bad loan to a poorly accredited person who probably lied on their paperwork? Because everyone else is doing it, that’s why!! Why would you get a double cheeseburger with jalapenos and cheese steak fries when your blood sugar is already three times the recommended level? Because your buddy Steve in front of you got the same thing!Worse case scenario, the single payer system clears your arteries, best case scenario, a lifetime of delicious cheese fries!

Without individual payers set on conditions, the moral hazard exists to obfuscate any purpose to make the right decision. The contrapositive of this rule in real world terms, “better to ask forgiveness than permission”  again equates to the danger of making the right thing a more expensive cost than to simply shoot first and ask questions later.

Whale, How About That

Naturally, the best place to look for a sigmoid-process-in-land-mammal-to-find-whale-grandparent lies no farther than your axe. The Woodsmen of the World, like all secret societies, started as a pooled healthcare service. Depending on where you live, their headstones can still be seen at cemeteries, look for the petrified tree stump shape.

Nowadays the dues go into extensive financial management systems. This merely highlights the relationship between healthcare’s origins(groups pooling to pay off health care expenses) and finance(while pooling money, the rate of return can be increased through careful investing) and demonstrates healthcare goes back much farther than Baylor in the great depression bilking school teachers out of .10 a year. Again, in economic terms, financial ruin and death, for a corporation, are the same exact endgame.

Obesity, “Jeshurun grew fat and kicked; filled with food, they became heavy and sleek. They abandoned the God who made them and rejected the Rock their Savior.” Deuteronymy 32:15. Now, If the Cooper Institute in Dallas can be believed, even young children demonstrate direct correlation of cardiovascular exertion to test scores, life expectancy, and the pursuit of happiness. Worse still, the rising costs of taking care of the ancillary problems of Obesity has our country on a highly unconventional cost rising move. England, a jolly land of pubs and free healthcare, has a 62% obesity rate. That’s behind us by only 8%. Therefore, a national health service does nothing to combat obesity, and only provides the grim prediction that, at least they will die faster so they won’t cost as much as we predict.


In short, individual premiums are the Glass Steagall act of the United States Economy, and we are presented with a difficult choice. Iceland. The land that let the banks die when they ate too much, that forgave the little guy, that essentially threw too big to fail into the geothermal geysers, also has an obesity rate of only 23.2%.

Now we are left with two economic factors: anything we tax will be discouraged, and anything we do not tax will be encouraged.  “Nothing outside a person can defile them by going into them. Rather, it is what comes out of a person that defiles them.” Mark 7:15. In the Kafkaesque tax law that currently exists, paralleled with the doomsday scenario of ACA Premiums to Laffer Curve levels of absurd end game, where the costs are so high they will kill the user with excess stress, we should ask, what kind of tax breaks, incentives, and freebies can we give people who are maintaining healthy levels of exercise?