It Is Time for Common Sense Truck Control

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A Satirical Look At World News with Austin Rucker

Yet again, in the beating heart of America, there are senseless deaths at the hands of a man with a truck.

Senseless deaths that could have been prevented if we had a common sense approach to truck control. The truck was a rental, it had automatic transmission, it was using gasoline, oil, and high tech electronics. Our founding fathers never intended for trucks of this kind of power to be in the hands of regular everyday Americans.

Trucks have been a part of our culture for some times. We even have a Chicken Tax to prevent foreign countries from bringing in Trucks of their own. Yet here a man was allowed, due to lax truck laws, to use an out of state truck license to acquire a modern Truck with high speed capacity, capable of travelling over 100 miles an hour.

Transportation has been a central part of our country. After World War II, truck ownership, which had been reserved usually for farm-owner operators to carry out rural duties, became part of American Culture. Driving cars had become an ubiquitous part of American Life.

People say Trucks don’t kill people, that people kill people, but they kill people with Trucks. Others say, “if we just banned Trucks there would still be killings with guns”, but this truck owner wasn’t able to get access to a gun in New York City, which proves that gun control works.

England has started adding in common sense acid control to prevent the slew of acid attacks in recent years, Australia banned guns nationwide, but look at America. In the 90s Timothy McVeigh was able to put a giant bomb inside a truck, and blow up the Oklahoma City Federal Building, Islamic Terrorists tried to take down the World Trade Center using a truck, and had to resort to using planes years later in 2001. But even today a boy as young as 11 can walk onto a Truck dealership with a suitcase full of cash and buy a fully loaded 2 ton truck with absolutely no oversight. Any person can quickly go online to Craigslist and buy a truck with literally no government oversight.

If the founding fathers had indicated that owning trucks of this size and power were their intention they would clearly have stated so in the constitution or bill of rights. Nowhere in any of our founding documents is any kind of truck even mentioned, and so we can clearly tell they never wanted us to have them. The only limit they have listed is for court cases on a value of over $20 at stake, so they obviously were aware that some capacities and limits were necessary. But Trucks were entirely left out, indicating they have no place in our society.

How many more people need to die before we just ban trucks outright. I mean, statistically speaking, you are more likely to be killed by a white male with a truck anyway, Trucks are just part of a historic system of oppression that deserve to go.

Our Own Rick Write has begun a movement called Dads Against Fast Cars. DAFC is a start in the right direction, and we at the Red Elephants urge you to join so that we can put an end to this psychotic truck culture that puts everyones’ children at risk.

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